Love Story 2050???

Notwithstanding,  whatever nonsense you've been told by Archies/ Hallmark/ Wikipedia, the truth is  that Valentine's Day originated in India, and to top it, in  Gujarat of all places! 
  
It is a known  fact that the Gujarati men, especially the Patels don't treat  their wives (Patel'anis) with respect. One fine day, it  happened to be 14th day of February; one brave Patel'ani had  had enough of torture by her husband, then she  finally chose to rebel by beating him up with a  Velan...(rolling pin)  
  
Yeah, the same  Velan with which she made chapattis for him everyday; only this  time, instead of the dough, it was the husband who was flattened.  This was a  momentous occasion for all the Gujarati women and  a revolt soon spread like wild fire, with several housewives  beating up their husbands with Velan and there was an  outbreak of moaning chapattis all over Anand and Amdavad. The  Patel men folk learnt their lesson and behaved a bit better  with their  Patel'ani partners.  
  
Thereafter each  year that day, the womenfolk as a token gesture, beat up their  husbands to commemorate that eventful day, thus the wives having  the satisfaction of beating up their husbands with Velan, and  the guys having the supreme joy of submitting to the whims of  the women they loved. 
  
Soon Gujju  men realised that in order to avoid this ordeal, they  need to bring flowers and gifts for their  wives.  
  
So the tradition  began. As Gujarat fell more under the influence of  Western culture that day was called 'Velan time' day. Hence  this ritual soon spread to  Britain & many other Western  countries, specifically, the catch words 'Velan  time!'.  
  
Of course in their  foreign mouths, it was bast ard ized to 'Velantime' and then  to 'Velantine'. And from that day onwards, 14th of February,  came to be known as Valentine's Day!

PS: This was an e-mail forward that tickled my funny bone. too good to not put up here. Atleast till I can come up with a better origin story and retconn it into the human history's collective consciousness.