Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Legally Gay

The year is 2008. Dr. Ramadoss is all for legalizing homosexuality. In England and other places in the world homosexuality is already legal. Bollywood has had its first movie to explicitly depict a gay act on the big screen. Its name? Dostana!  Welcome to a brave new world.


It will be interesting to watch what happens if it is legalized though. Thinking about it, the gay community will always be a minority. And as such they will expect certain rights. There is the eternally present “Reservation System”. Homosexuals are the new fairer sex. They will probably earn more, pay less tax, go to better schools since they will have a “quota” now, and have a ball of a time. The emancipation of the OBC is over and parents will probably be clamoring to have their children certified Gay. How they are going to do this I don't know yet, but am sure it will happen. After all, it is a niche that not everyone can claim to belong to. And that makes it all the more attractive to some.


And all of us straight men will get a taste of what it feels like to be hit upon by strangers. Picture the scenario where we approach an attractive lady and make what we could call a romantic overture. The women in question might or might not welcome it. Am fairly sure most of them are uncomfortable with such attention. Now, simply remove the women from the picture, and put yourself in their place. Should be fun, no?


And in another 20 years or so the next Thackeray scion, having no one else to base his/ her election campaign on, will put forth a wave to Clean-Up-Mumbai of everything that is gay. And all the Madrasis and Biharis will be forgotten. Unless they do something to make them targets, like being gay, for example.


All the Bible-thumping, Gita-preaching, Quran-quoting religious fanatics will have a field day appearing in various media-fed, prime-time slots reciting the same script with a few characters changed. They will say God didn't intend for his children to be gay. That it is unnatural. And the gay shall still inherit the earth. We already have gay icons. In a country like India, how long will it take till we have Gay Gods?


They can solve a whole slew of problems. Overpopulation for starters. They might even make the world a better place for a lot of kids by adopting. There will be an extra column under the orientation tab of most application forms and those that don't have it till date will have them soon. Homosexuals usually seem to to be more creatively talented. We will have gay politicians and filmstars. Designers, dancers, sports stars, scientists even. For all you know, Google will come up with a gPhone. A limited edition maybe. And like most things Google, it will become a best seller.


And we will have a new breed of top dog, the Uber-Gay. The role-models. The ones who inspire. The ones everyone wants to be like. Who knows, history might be remade ala Bollywood and we might have a Mughal-Gay-Azam! And a few new monuments, say a Gay-te Way of India.

All in all, am sure it will all work out. And it sure is going to be a happy place to be in. Welcome to a brave new world?


everything burns... said...

well oki...since this is the "comments" section i will write nothing very politically correct and say exactly what i thot... honestly... after like reading the post...it seemed more like a mockery of the gay community rather than encouraging equal rights for all.

Arjun said...

My guess is that is exactly what he was trying to do! Whatever be the case, it was a very interesting read! I loved Mughal-Gay-Azam! :) Gphone.. hehe.. Keep em coming bro!

Rohan said...

heh heh..
i noticed two things:
1) you said "us straight men"..heh heh..made it very clear eh?
2)"they will have a “quota” now, and have a ball of a time."
Lol..on a more serious note:

anyways, i really have no problems with anyone being gay or straight. A choice they have made, and I respect them for it. It's a very difficult choice to make, and even more difficult to live with. But what I might not like is the quota system. Equal rights for all gets my vote when its based on economic disparity, rather than your caste/creed/sexual preference. And inspite of this step, I still think Ramadouche is a prick!