The Wonder Years

As yet another year is drawing to an end; I was talking to my friends about childhood memories. We talked about the things we did, the kids we hung out with, the trouble we got into (some more than others), and the games we played.

And, over the past few days, it got me feeling just a bit nostalgic, remembering the good times, the great times, as I grew up. And, it also got me thinking how some things were just simpler then, and that sometimes the progress we seem to have made has been just for the sake of moving forward when we had some pretty awesome things back in my day (yes, I realize I am old with that phrase) that stand up over the course of history. 

It is amazing where we have gone with video games over the past 30 years or so. Today, you have gaming consoles that react based on your own movements and actions. You also have incredible graphics and storylines, things that were not able to be done on such a level all those years ago. And my personal favourite, Haptic Feedback :) It rocks!

However, some of them just lack the simple nature to hold your interest and entertain you. And, for the amount of money being put into some of them, it is astounding that such aspects would be overlooked.

I remember getting out of school and heading to the playground to play with my friends, choosing sides for some cricket, a little football, or maybe basketball. I remember the sound and pattern of a car alarm when you hit someone’s car by accident, scurrying away, leaving your ball behind, and waiting it out until they either turned it off or it ran its course. At that age, your ball was worth losing if it meant not getting in trouble. I remember getting yelled at for playing in front of some people’s houses, because our sixers were over their second windows, and we kept coming up just a bit short. I remember waiting for it to get darker,or for the power cuts, so we could organize a game of Eye-spy, making sure to specify the rule of no hiding in houses or on the roof, or else someone would try hiding on the sun-shade(you’d be surprised just how dumb some kids can be at that age).

I also remember the sound of the ice cream vendor - in my case, it was Kwality, before it was Kwality-Walls, and getting a choco-bar, or a cone, or a Rainbow ice-cream that was guaranteed to make a multi-coloured mess on your face. My personal favourite remains to this day, an ice-cream sandwich. For 5 bucks we used to get a decent slab of vanilla ice-cream between 2 chocolate flavoured biscuits. It was yumm!!!

My friend reminisced that he played some strange mix of Jurassic Park and Hide-and-seek, where he played a raptor with T-Rex vision, from his description. And, unfortunately, as we grow older, we lose some of that creativity and imagination, because, to keep it up as an adult would mean a trip to the psych ward with some padded walls. However, we can keep it alive in our minds, reminiscing about those times. 

I am sure there are plenty of theme songs, be it from cartoons you watched on Saturday morning or afterschool during the week. Even as I take a stroll through Landmark, Central, or Odyssey every once in awhile, there are just too many options. How many Batman figures does one really need? You’ve got Batman, Batman with the Kung-Fu grip, glow-in-the-dark Batman, Batman with the removable mask and cape so he’s really Bruce Wayne etc. There are too many special lines that it makes it nearly impossible for a kid to maintain any type of collection. As a kid, I had G.I. Joe figures. I also had He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Later, there would be Power Rangers, which I thought were kinda lame, and Pogs, which I thought were pointless. I also never got Pokemon or Magic: The Gathering, but they were struck way too late for me anyway, when I just didn’t see anything new measuring up to the toys of my youth. I am sure the toys of today can do all kinds of things that my toys couldn’t. And while that is pretty cool as far as technological advances are concerned, it limits your imagination. I don’t want my action figures’ weapons to make noises. I want to make those noises myself. I don’t want them to have action poses or movements. I want to position them to do those very things myself. There is something lost in the ability of those toys to do everything for you. 

Remain young at heart, because as we get older, we are in jeopardy of losing the ability to be a kid at times. Life toughens you. Stress, work, bills, etc. all play a factor in having to be a grown-up and killing away some of your childlike qualities. So, every once in awhile, bust out with Monopoly/Business or Snakes & Ladders to keep it alive. There’s nothing wrong with taking out some of your old toys and staging massive battles or fights among the different sides. For the ladies, feel free to host tea parties for your Barbie dolls or your massive amounts of stuffed animals. Anyone visiting at the time might think you’re a bit crazy, but at least you’ll be having some fun for yourself, remembering those good times, when life was so much simpler, and sometimes just easier. 

And have a Happy New Year!

Words, Afterwords & All The Books In Between

I love books. Not text books, but books in general. I never liked studying but I love reading. And they have been some of the best companions to me. Books bring various things with them. They can hold stories, knowledge, ideas and memories. They also hold in them the keys to unlocking the imagination, and the gateways to fantastic worlds.

Books also hold tactile experiences like weight, size, feel of the paper, texture and so on. I hate reading books online-I want to HOLD the book. (I do read many things online, but I prefer not to.) I also love the smells that attach themselves to books. I love the smell of old books. You close your eyes and it is like a whole life passes by in your mind’s eye. The smell of new books always holds that promise of something new and exciting. Old ones have that dusty, musty scent. I love old bookshops and libraries. New ones are so crisp and fresh. Different papers have different scents, too. Sometimes I smell a book that has

lived near a lake or sea and can smell that in it. Or a book that survived a fire -- there's a unique charred aroma. I love scents, and, books are a very tactile experience, very sensual, if I may say so.

And I try and get my hands on old books whenever I can. There are quite a few places in and around where I live that cater to this fetish; mostly second hand stores and bargain basement types that I trawl through and invariably always get a valuable gem that I would quite honestly pay much more to get my hands on.

For example, through some of my treasure hunting, I now have a first edition copy of The Godfather. And 2 James Bond novels autographed by Ian Fleming himself :) both of course also first editions.

But more than even the monetary value of these books, there are some books I pick up either intentionally or accidentally, that offer me an insight into the lives of the previous owners. Most of these books are used right? So the previous owners sometimes leave things lying in the books as bookmarks or keepsakes and forget about them. These little things survive the years and end up in a complete stranger’s hands. It’s like finding a message in a bottle washed up by the ocean. At once strange and familiar and exciting! For it is full of possibilities. These are my time-capsules. 

There is something incredibly romantic about it all, if you actually sit and think about it. These knick-knacks come in various forms. I have found items ranging from simple grocery lists, to photographs, to visiting cards and greeting cards, to letters to stamps and sometimes even currency notes. And not all of them were Indian. The everyday items are the most interesting ones. It reminds us of the days gone by and something like a grocery list or a shopping list or a laundry list(yes, those too make it to the books) can take me on a trip down memory lane, if its within my memory, or offer me a glimpse into the times existing then.

Most of us am sure would have had some experience with this. 

Those of us with elder siblings in the same school get hand me down textbooks.

Or some of us might have borrowed seniors’ books. Sometimes these have priceless scribbling, sketches in them that keep you entertained in an otherwise boring class and perhaps beyond. Maybe you have even contributed to some yourself!

Do you ever feel like leaving things in library books or books you are getting rid of, just so that some future person can wonder where this weird Polaroid, note, sketch etc came from? Or have you ever found something like I have?

Legally Gay : Through The Gay-zing Glass

The year is 2008. Dr. Ramadoss is all for legalizing homosexuality. In England and other places in the world homosexuality is already legal. Welcome to a brave new world. Bollywood has just had its first movie explicitly depicting a gay act on the big screen. Its name? Dostana!

However! It’s fairly entertaining to see things go down. Of course, it might help you to keep in mind that this is not a movie about two gay men. It’s about two straight Indian men who are clearly freaked out by their little charade and have no idea how to make it work other than by drawing on stereotypes. Nowhere is this more evident than in the cringe-inducing scene where the main cast prances around the living room with Boman Irani and the most inappropriately effete immigration officer ever. Kunal and Sam ruminate on what it means to be homosexual and decide to “think like women, act like men” before running out with their pinkies raised and dancing to Beedi jalaile.

I recently ran into a couple of Columbians in the city. Both of them are in their early to mid 20's and have been best friends for a long time. And they were taking in the sights and sounds and smells and taste of India. As we were sitting at a coffee bar and making conversation, one of them suddenly asked me, why most Indian men

were gay? At first I thought he meant to ask something else and I misunderstood what he said but after I clarified it turns out that's exactly what he meant. So I asked him what made him think most of us were gay. And he said, “you guys hold other guys hands and walk. You share drinks/food from the same container etc.” This got me thinking of the various cultural differences between us and how he perceived what I would consider very normal, heterosexual behaviour to be gay. I have grown up considering myself heterosexual. But when I hold onto another guys hand I don't really consider it gay. I am also OK with passing around my lunch or Pepsi bottle around. Some people might not, but that's more for hygienic reasons, I think, than the thought that its gay. Honestly it had never even struck me in that light till these two guys pointed it out.

I think India is quite arguably a very androgynous – if not an outright feminine – culture; Indian men are very well-adjusted to displays of sensitivity, emotional depth, and homosocial intimacy.

It is not rare to see men walking around the city hand-in-hand or arms over their shoulders,displaying signs of very intimate affection towards each other. Once I saw a group of young men caressing each other’s hair, one of them combing the other’s lengthy locks, while the other men in the group carried on a lively and animated

conversation amongst themselves.

Well, all of this means, it gets awfully hard to figure out who’s in who’s “camp.” It’s incredibly risky to assume someone’s gay or that someone has the “hots” for you just by their non-verbal behavior and overt displays of intimacy.

I suppose this type of a cultural acceptance of homosocial behavior leads to a psychological burial or repression of homosexual expression. This is because of the ambiguous sexual nature of the behavior among the men around him. Since one can never be sure of the sexual intentions or persuasions of another man, it becomes incredibly risky to just assume the other’s sexual orientation and make an unsolicited or unwanted move–particularly given the paradoxical fact that while Indian men are notoriously homosocial, they are equally homophobic.

I don’t think this apparent closeness between males is uniquely Indian either. In the Arab Gulf men touch their noses and make a smacking sound with their lips when they greet each other (call it a virtual kiss). In many other Asian cultures men can be found walking hand in hand. Who is to say that holding hands or lips approaching

lips is not masculine, but feminine? Women in the Gulf do not “kiss” like this, so to kiss in this way is very much a masculine expression, while the feminine expression involves cheek to cheek. I see the camaraderie among Indian men expressed in the ways mentioned as a very masculine thing. Similar to in the west how the hearty handshake between men and a rough pat here or there is considered masculine. I feel the element of sexuality that might or might not accompany such actions is an important consideration, but I don’t feel it is a construct of masculinity or femininity. Parents can be very physically intimate with a child but this does not normally constitute any expression of sexuality.

I think the clues as to whether an individual is attracted to another of the same sex can still be recognized even if not based on distinct forms of physical intimacy. In fact, it is more the emotional than physical clues which one can look for. An unrelenting fixation on another, an emerging obsession, flirtatious and furtive looks, etc. Would not these be clear enough indications of another’s desires? I also believe that there is not only gay, bi and straight among the human family, but every degree in between. This is where the labels may not serve us well, whether we are referring to a Western context (in which the terms were coined) or that of any other culture. I guess my point is that there are numerous clues to pick up on to determine another’s interest in us or in others. A discussion of “masculine” and “feminine” behavior does not have much relevance. They express intimacy among themselves in

the culturally appropriate way for Indian man. In that sense holding hands is an expression of masculinity.

Also the western civilization is obsessed with the gay phenomenon to such an extent that even simple gestures between guys is considered taboo. So I say “Relax guys! You need to be confident of your sexuality that you don’t have to do anything in a certain way to “prove” your masculinity!!”

Legally Gay

The year is 2008. Dr. Ramadoss is all for legalizing homosexuality. In England and other places in the world homosexuality is already legal. Bollywood has had its first movie to explicitly depict a gay act on the big screen. Its name? Dostana!  Welcome to a brave new world.

 

It will be interesting to watch what happens if it is legalized though. Thinking about it, the gay community will always be a minority. And as such they will expect certain rights. There is the eternally present “Reservation System”. Homosexuals are the new fairer sex. They will probably earn more, pay less tax, go to better schools since they will have a “quota” now, and have a ball of a time. The emancipation of the OBC is over and parents will probably be clamoring to have their children certified Gay. How they are going to do this I don't know yet, but am sure it will happen. After all, it is a niche that not everyone can claim to belong to. And that makes it all the more attractive to some.

 

And all of us straight men will get a taste of what it feels like to be hit upon by strangers. Picture the scenario where we approach an attractive lady and make what we could call a romantic overture. The women in question might or might not welcome it. Am fairly sure most of them are uncomfortable with such attention. Now, simply remove the women from the picture, and put yourself in their place. Should be fun, no?

 

And in another 20 years or so the next Thackeray scion, having no one else to base his/ her election campaign on, will put forth a wave to Clean-Up-Mumbai of everything that is gay. And all the Madrasis and Biharis will be forgotten. Unless they do something to make them targets, like being gay, for example.

 

All the Bible-thumping, Gita-preaching, Quran-quoting religious fanatics will have a field day appearing in various media-fed, prime-time slots reciting the same script with a few characters changed. They will say God didn't intend for his children to be gay. That it is unnatural. And the gay shall still inherit the earth. We already have gay icons. In a country like India, how long will it take till we have Gay Gods?

 

They can solve a whole slew of problems. Overpopulation for starters. They might even make the world a better place for a lot of kids by adopting. There will be an extra column under the orientation tab of most application forms and those that don't have it till date will have them soon. Homosexuals usually seem to to be more creatively talented. We will have gay politicians and filmstars. Designers, dancers, sports stars, scientists even. For all you know, Google will come up with a gPhone. A limited edition maybe. And like most things Google, it will become a best seller.

 

And we will have a new breed of top dog, the Uber-Gay. The role-models. The ones who inspire. The ones everyone wants to be like. Who knows, history might be remade ala Bollywood and we might have a Mughal-Gay-Azam! And a few new monuments, say a Gay-te Way of India.

All in all, am sure it will all work out. And it sure is going to be a happy place to be in. Welcome to a brave new world?

Chutnefying English

Hindi and English, once pitted against each other as adversaries, now inhabit a common space and complement each other, sometimes in the same utterance. The interspersing of Hindi and English is most common in advertisers' tag-lines, literature, films, graffiti, short message service, songs and everyday conversations. With not inconsiderable homogenization, this phenomenon is called "Hinglish," a term we wish to understand and debate.

MICA is organizing an historic conference called "Chutnefying English," in which eminent scholars and practitioners are invited to debate the notion of Hinglish from the point of view of their disciplines-language studies, literature, culture studies, advertisement, communication and media studies, management, etc. contributing to what we hope will be a rich and textured array of perspectives. The conference will also incorporate panel discussions on whether Hinglish is a unifying language, and whether it has promise of being a language of tomorrow's business.

Academic contributions made at the conference will be edited as a book by Rita Kothari and Rupert Snell, and published by Penguin India.

Please note that the venue for the conference has been changed to Hotel Le Royal Méridien Mumbai

Why You Should Attend

 

As Hinglish becomes an increasingly common phenomenon in day-to-day language usage throughout India, it is imperative for anybody interested in doing business in India or for any academic studying modern India to have an in-depth understanding of this complex subject. This conference will provide a first-of-its-kind, up-to-date look at issues surrounding Hinglish. Attendees will hear not only from the top academics that have done research in this field, but also the perspectives of industry leaders that produce content in Hinglish. This unique and rare bridging of academia with industry promises to be not only highly interesting, but also a fruitful exercise that will be of great assistance to you. Attend this premiere historic conference to connect and interact with leaders and like-minded peers and gain a deep understanding of Hinglish.

Who Should Attend

 

Chutnefying English is the first international conference that has been organized on the topic of Hinglish and is the only event on this subject to offer such a vast array of global perspectives. It is especially relevant for:

• Market research specialists, research analysts, media researchers, and communication researchers
• Account planners and managers, copywriters, and creative directors
• Field workers
• Senior management executives
• Academics
• Education policy makers
• Media planners

KlueLESS 3

KlueLESS 3 can be accessed at http://www.iimi-iris.com/iris-2007/irising/klueless3

**SPOILER WARNING**

Here there be answers. No hints, no gentle nudge in the right direction. Just plain solutions. Its been over a year since this has been released.

No requests for the removal of this post will be entertained. If you don't want the answers, then simply go elsewhere.

**ANSWERS**

Level 0 --- change the url to http://www.iimi-iris.com/iris-2007/irising/klueless3/level1.asp

Level 1 --- change the url to http://www.iimi-iris.com/iris-2007/irising/klueless3/klueless3.asp

Level 2 --- whitewash

Level 3 --- nero

Level 4 --- east

Level 5 --- iv

Level 6 --- beckham

Level 7 --- cancer

Level 8 --- atm

Level 9 --- importance

Level 10 --- change the url to http://www.iimi-iris.com/iris-2007/irising/klueless3/basics.htm

Level 11 --- h2g2

Level 12 --- truth

Level 13 --- travis

Level 14 --- love

Level 15 --- the sign of four

Level 16 --- liv tyler

Level 16a --- arwen

Level 17 --- Guy Fawkes

Level 18 --- Watterson

Level 19 --- Mel Blanc

Level 20 --- grand

Level 21 --- fortune

Level 22 --- roaster --- download office.xls

Level 23 --- Bruce Edgar

Level 24 --- newspaper

Level 25 --- livewire

Level 26 --- 27

Level 27 --- 666

Level 27a --- beast

Level 28 --- F

Level 29 --- Marvolo

Level 30 --- room 101

Next Level --- change url to http://www.iimi-iris.com/iris-2007/irising/klueless3/drunkenjasmine/klueless4.asp

So dats it...Hope you are happy now by these Klueless 3 Answers. 

KlueLESS 2

Now for Klueless 2.

The game can be accessed at http://www.iimi-iris.com/iris-2006/irising/klueless/

** SPOILER WARNING**

Here there be answers. No hints. Just the answers. No explanations either ;)

And no requests will be entertained to take this off from here. Its been 2 years since this ended. Either get a life or get out of here.

If this helped you, please leave a comment. Feedback is always welcome!

ANSWERS:

1. iris

2. sherlock holmes

3. calabash

4. catch me if you can

5. 1729

6. gahooyoogle

7. roger waters

8. lamborghini

9. energy

10. compact disc

11. Doctor means doc

12. vibgyor

13. 211411

14. rubik

15. mobile

16. Nankyoku Monogatari

17. orkut

18. caatiu

19. failure is not an option

20. "memory" of the "calculator"

Just send us your details, we are more than eager to receive your comments. Please send us an email with a message containing "caprio waters rubik". 

klueless2@gmail.com

KlueLESS 1

Well after that last fiasco with KlueLESS 4, I have decided to start at the beginning and compile my answers for the last 3 editions of KlueLESS here.
am starting with the first one, the one that started it all for me.

you can access the game by clicking on http://iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS

** SPOILER WARNING**

Here there be answers. No hints. No pointing in the right direction. Just a hard shove to the next level.

If this post helped you, please do leave a comment, feedback is appreciated.
No requests to remove this post will be entertained.

**ANSWERS**

1> click on the gate

2> watch the door PATIENTLY and when u see "Can you knock???" on the door QUICKLY click on it

3> goddess: iris

4> complete me: ray-ban ...be sure to put the hyphen

5> http://iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS/cobain.asp 

6> dial him: 666

7> change the url to http://www.iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS/whereto/level8.asp

8> metal/pixel

9> Change URL to http://iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS/Leonardo.asp

10> Change URL to http://iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS/level10.jpg and then change URL to http://iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS/audi.asp

11> fifth/quint

12> hotel/california

13> change Url to http://iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS/thebook.asp

14> change url to http://iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS/mozilla.asp

15> vodafone

16> change url to http://iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS/adioswhit.asp

17> scaramanga

18> click on phone..... answer is elements

19> gorgeous/animated

20> change URL to http://iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS/doors.asp

21> dont type friends as the answer, if you do it will take you to a page which says dnuoryawrehtw which is ulta of otherwayround....so the answer is sdneirf

22> flake/ground

23> change url to http://iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS/dontchangethis.zip

24> here it goes two ways: red pill , blue pill...am goin the blue pill way....so i can cover everything....so click on blue pill and ur on 25

25> change url to http://iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS/matrixed/iridium.asp

26> answer is leg

27> creator of windows solitarie ;) first name: wes / last name: cherry

>>>>back to 25, this time click on the red pill<<<<<<<

24> 66not 77= iridium...he created sol:wes cherry

25> Click any ring...answer: gorinnosho

26> Click inside the circle. clockwork/orange

27> Change URL to http://iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS/vitalstatistix.asp

28> Change URl to http://iimi-iris.com/iris/irising/klueLESS/skipped.asp



theres no level 29

and you're done...

Klueless 4

Hi Arjun,

This is Vishal from Klueless Team. One of the players sent me a link from your blog and it was really disappointing to see you directly putting away the answers. This coming from a players who has gone through the grind and is actually at hall of fame 12th rank surprised me even more. We would request you to please take away the answers from your blog which is totally against the klueless spirit. These are the kind of things which actually makes it unfair for people who relilgiously play the game and make it to the end against people who just get answers from somewhere. Getting answers is too tempting for anyone and even if somebody is just looking for hints might get the answers and you take the fun out of him.

We know that we have absolutely no control over what you put in your blog but this is a sincere request from our side to please remove that particular post.

Thanking You,
Vishal on behalf of Klueless Team
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well its been quite a while and I think enought time has gone by since that episode with the mail above. This time, the answers stay. If you don't want the answers, then simply close this window.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well after another long year, Klueless 4 is back. Its bigger, its better and as expected more frustrating than its prequels.
Well this time it took me 48+ hrs to finish it. But finish it I did, and came 12th on the Wall Of Fame.
I think I have given enough time for ppl to get bugged by it. Here are my answers to it.


** SPOILER WARNING : To those dumb enough to require this, HERE THERE BE ANSWERS. Do not read further if you dont want answers. This is not a forum for hints.

If this post helped you, then be nice and leave a comment :)
I would like feedback u know!

The game can be accessed here .

0. Level 0

Click on Enter

1. Level 1

play

2. Level 2

Change klueless 3 in the address bar to klueless 4

3. Level 3

cakewalk

4. Level 4

nehru

5. Level 5

advice

6. Level 6

fauntleroy

7. Level 7

sets

8. Level 8


Halleys comet

9. Level 9

piglatin

10. Level 10

brangelina

11. Level 11

dorset square

12. Level 12

mandelbrot

13. Level 13

change letters in address bar to onering

14. Level 14

dearest

15. Level 15

Door 1 :

pluto (This is your password. Save it)

You reach a Dead End

Go back to the 3 doors

Door 3:

hannibal (This is your username. Save it)

You reach a Dead End

Door 2:

This page looks similar to Level 1. So go back there.

Enter conquer instead of play.

You get to Level 1a.

hannibal/pluto

16. Level 16

crib

17. Level 17

bon jovi

18. Level 18

faith

19. Level 19

snowy

20. Level 20

365

21. Level 21

Change the extension .asp to .txt to get here. Copy paste the text to notepad, save it and close it. Right click and chk properties for size. 203 bytes. Change "itdoesmatter.txt" in address bar to "203.asp"

22. Level 22

tittle

23. Level 23

dlf

24. Level 24

prelude

25. Level 25

easy

26. Level 26

impossible

27. Level 27

taj mahal

28. Level 28

secure

29. Level 29

45

30. Level 30

fibonacci

31. Level XXX+1

klueless

Enter you details here to be featured on the Wall Of Fame.

2.5 Point Someone

For those who are thinking on the lines of Chetan Bhagat's debut novel, please stop right there.
I am a MICAn after all. No dumb IIT/IIM grad thinks like me.
That said, what the title alludes to is not a Grade Point Average (although if we do go by GPAs I would be a 5 Point Someone, ironically) but the number of decades I have walked the Earth.

The 14th of October, 2008, I officially turned 25 years old.
Thats a quarter century. Makes one feel quite old when you look at it that way :)
But still, its been a fun ride so far!
Oh! And all of you who haven't wished me yet or worse still, just plain forgot, WISH ME NOW!
And send me gifts too if you insist. (I accept cash and all major credit & debit cards)

Last year, I was dunked in cold water by my batchmates and friends at MICA. This year, considering I am not in MICA anymore and have been missing it so much, God seems to have taken into his head to recreate the feeling for me and soaked me through by getting me drenched in a typical Bangalore shower.(Guy has a sense of humour doesn't he!)

So well, in 25 years what have I done? Not much.

1. I got my PGDM from MICA.
2. I got my BBM from CMS - Jain College.
3. I started 2 blogs.
4. I learnt how to ride and drive.
5. I changed 3 jobs and am in my 4th.
6. I have a 6 figure salary. (Although it doesnt seem like much once the bills come in)
7. I have had a few good relationships and a few psychotic ones. And I have loved them all.
8. I have had quite a few Near-Death-Experiences and survived them all.
9. I have realized I am a pretty decent quizzer.
10. I became a Competent Toast Master.
11. I have a longterm relationship with books, music, movies, anime and my bike, Ninny!
12. I have travelled extensively across India.
13. I finally went abroad. And liked it. Just not enough to settle anywhere though.
14. I realized one can never have enough Time, Money, RAM, Memory or Band-width.
15. I made a few friends who I can say I can rely upon for anything at anytime.
16. I can cook and pretty decently.
17. I decided I want to be a house-wife.
18. I have had some lovely pets.

Well am sure there are a lot more things I want to add to that list. But am old now. And tired. And my memory ain't what it used to be ;) So will update this as and when something comes to mind. If something comes to your mind first, leave a comment and I will add it! :)

Happy Bday to ME!!!!

Spell Check 4

Intex Service Center

Vastrapur, Ahmedabad.

Gujarat

Spell Check 3

Traffic Police

Indore, Madhya Pradesh

Spell Check 2

Deccan Herald Office,

3rd Floor, MG Road

Bangalore

Hmmm.....Letters to the Editor anyone???

Kicking Butt in the Office – No Smoking!

Non-smoking is the new way of being a non-conformist. Kids in college  are now cool because they don't smoke and not the opposite, as it used to be. Grab a cigarette and break it in half in front of everyone and they'll all say "Awwww! What a nice guy!". These are the kids who grow up and become your colleagues and elected representatives to the Government. They then try to make this a conforming standard so they can have more company by making laws which ban smoking.

Many have decided to take this action much farther, however. Devout "non-smokers" harass their smoking co-workers while they are on their breaks with magazine clippings of the various cancers caused by the habit. Some may go even as far as stealing the cigarettes from strangers on the street who they see smoking. Rumour has it that in select extreme cases, some have vowed to hunt down and terminate the plagued portion of society by burning the smokers alive in a vat of tobacco.

The main slogan of the non-smokers appears to be "Death to the death causing smoking community".

To prevent all this potential bloodshed, the Government and our Union Health Minister Dr. Rama-Douse, have brought about a new law which prohibits and deems illegal, the action of smoking in buildings. And corporates, being the model citizens that they are, have enforced the No Smoking rule within their domains as well. Pardon me for drawing parallels between Nazi Germany and the SS for this. Dictatorship anyone?

But before we get to that, let us examine what smoking is.

Smoking

Smoking is the human practice of ingesting enormous quantities of the aerially-dispersed waste products of combustible organic matter, so that they may be sequestered safely within the lungs and out of harm's way.

Why People Smoke

People smoke for a multitude of reasons, some of which are good, some bad and some plainly ugly.

Here are some of the reasons:

• ·   Stress Buster
  
• ·   Helps bond with strangers (ultimate chauvinistic example being “male bonding”)
  
• ·   Covers up the fact that you forgot to brush your teeth today (or was that all week?)
  
• ·   Social Acceptance (it’s like belonging to an exclusive club)
  
• ·   Improves your communication skills and builds confidence (smokers can walk upto complete strangers and ask for a light/match/cigarette/phone number, if the person is cute, etc)
  
• ·   Acts as a better digestive aid than Hajmola.
  
• ·   Keeps you warm on cold nights.
  
• ·   Kills hunger and keeps you from piling on the pounds.
  
• ·   War (see all of the above points)
  
• ·   Festivals like Diwali (safest fireworks of the season, all year round)
  
• ·   Traffic Jams (it builds your resistance towards all that smog on the roads)
  

Smoking at the Olympics

Smoking finally gained the recognition it deserved in 1972, when the International Olympic Committee officially recognized it as an Olympic event. Prior to this, smoking had already been established as a national sport in Bosnia, Croatia, France, Poland and Spain.

Health benefits of smoking

Smoking is the only known cure for Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and some minor forms of dementia, because smoking kills you before you ever get them. Many studies have also found that out of all people with lung cancer smokers have a 70% higher rate or survival. This is due to the incredible properties of the chemical additives in tobacco which kills all the little men who make the cancer on their sewing machines. A local medical university in, Moscow, Russia has been researching on ways to cure cancer through extreme inhalation of tar.

Also all ad-based research has only proven that second hand smoke kills. Nothing happens to consumers of first-hand smoke. Case in point, the Marlboro Man’s horse died of Cancer but he was still alive and smoking. Need I say more?

Reasons why smoking should never be banned

•     Governments get a lot of tax revenue to buy their own tobacco.
  
•     Smoking is good exercise for the lungs, just like a Bullworker is good for the biceps.
  
•     People die younger, so need less pensions.
  
•     Keeps tobacconists and other small shops going. Alternative revenues would otherwise have had to be provided.
  
•     Tobacco farmers would have to be provided with alternative means of revenue. If from developing countries, more aid would have to be provided (on reduced taxes of which more will be spent on pensions).
  
•     Assorted other businesses (transport, tax revenue people etc, the quit smoking industry) will have their work reduced - see preceding point.
  
•     The Ad-industry would vanish or become totally dependent on alcohol.
  
•     Football players would become dependent on dope.
  
•     Smokers are determined to kill someone. Just let them kill themselves, its better than having them kill you when they are going through withdrawal.
  
•     Smoking keeps self-important, anti-smokers, who like nothing more than to push other people around occupied, and allows governments to go to war and screw up the economy without anyone giving a damn.
  
•     Smoking is the easiest way to separate the men from the boys.
  
•     Human stupidity.
  
•     Second hand smoke is a good way to damage people you don't like without taking direct action.
  
•     Smoking is just plain cool.
  

Smoking At The Workplace

The new no smoking in the workplace rule that the government has imposed seems to have quite a few reasons for being imposed. With all the previously rock solid companies going up in smoke, nobody seems to want to risk another disaster. ICICI-cle Bank is going to be the new numerologically correct way of identifying a smoke free bank we once used to know as ICICI.

The environmentalists are concerned that all the smoking leads to Global Warming and that their beach houses will soon be submerged.

The Govt isn’t able to find  suitable industrial land for the TATA Nano plant. Its strategy? Run ITC out of business and get their land for TATA.

But all this ranting and raving, and conspiracy-theory-waving aside, what do you think of the impending ban? Like it, hate it or have your own theories? Please do post a comment and let me know :)